West High School - Davenport, Iowa
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Class of 1968

 

English as a Second Language

Editorial:

I live in California and do my banking with Bank of America. America right? So why when I put in my ATM card, do I have to choose between English and Spanish? With that said, here are some funny signs that people have seen all over the world. Maybe English isn't always a good thing!

- Mick Orton

  • Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
  • Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
  • Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
  • Sign in men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
  • In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
  • On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
  • On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
  • On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
  • In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
  • In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
  • In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
  • Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
  • Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
  • On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
  • In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
  • In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN AS A FOREIGNER DRESSED AS A MAN.
  • Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
  • Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
  • Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
  • Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
  • An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
  • A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
  • Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
  • Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
  • The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
  • In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.
  • Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
  • On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO.
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