Class of 1968

Fred Beeman - Las Vegas, Nevada

Fred Beeman 2013

I'm guessing that some of you knew me while I was at WHS, so I'll bring you up to speed on my life, past 1968.

I was in the USAF, but I wasn't sent overseas.  I went to Harvard Law School in 1970, but it was a Sunday and the place was closed, so I got back in my car and went elsewhere.  I spent a couple of years in the Twin Cities (U of MN), but dropped out due to a lack of funds to pay my tuition.  Although my mother had very generously offered to pay my tuition in full, I didn't want to burden her with that additional expense, because I felt that an education would have more meaning to me (and I'd study much harder and better) if I was paying my own way.

I had a job offer to work in Sydney, Australia during the early 1970s, so I went to a Minneapolis interview for an Aussie radio network, but nothing came of it.  In August, 1991, I and my then-wife would visit Sydney on our own, staying for a fortnight with friends.  A foray to a downtown Sydney OTB place would result in our winning AUS$1,000 (US$780), which paid for our airfare on NWA.

I've lived in Phoenix & Tucson AZ, Lakewood & Denver CO, Houston TX, Honolulu & Kahului (Maui) HI (1981-92), and from 1992 onward, my current home of Las Vegas NV.  Most of my employment was in radio broadcasting and news reporting, but while living in Texas (1979), I finally took steps to form my own company and in 1981 I moved it to Honolulu HI.

My company deals with freelance writing and research writing assignments, the subject of which was (and still is) dictated by my clients; whatever they wish me to research, that's what I do.  I also began capitalizing on  my "class clown" antics of the 1960s, by writing jokes (at $50 each) for stand-up comedians.  Here is just one that I wrote for a professional comedian:

A Texas rancher has two signs at the entrance to his property.  The sign on the left is written in English and reads, "TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT AND KILLED!"

The other sign, on the right, is printed only in Spanish and says, "YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO LEARN TO READ THE OTHER SIGN."

My humor writing was spurred by my winning a contest many years ago, where the participants were asked to come up with a new "Abbott & Costello" routine.  I wrote one that began like this:

COSTELLO:  "Hey Abbott, what's the capital of Alaska?"

ABBOTT:  "Juneau."

COSTELLO:  "No, I don't know, or I wouldn't have asked."  

In keeping with their brand of humor, I created a T-Shirt that had printed on it, in Spanish, "Aren't you able to read Spanish?"  Then, when someone would ask me, "What does your shirt say?" I would respond with, "Aren't you able to read Spanish?"

I also created a bumper sticker that read, "HONK IF YOU'RE ILLITERATE" and a similar T-shirt where the word "SMILE" was substituted for "HONK."

In 1985, I was encouraged by friends and colleagues to consider joining MENSA®, the international "High IQ" society.  To make a long story brief, I took the proctored examination in 1986 and, using my lottery winnings from 1987, became a life member.  In 1970, I joined the AANR, and also became a life member.  These are the only two organizations to which I belong, and their websites are here, if anyone is curious:

http://www.us.mensa.org/

http://www.aanr.com/

I'm also proud to be associated with this organization (founded by my good friend, actor/singer Paul Petersen), since 1994:

http://www.minorcon.org/

I sometimes author obituaries of celebrities, and here is one of the many I've had published online:

http://www.minorcon.org/frank_bank.html

I've been married twice and both of them didn't last, but my most-recent ex and I are still the very best (and closest) of friends.  In fact, for my 2008 birthday, she bought me a new car and even though we are no longer husband and wife, we still share joint bank accounts and we each have the other's full Power of Attorney.  There's no one I trust more than her, and I have known her since 1956.

During the late 1960s and early 70s, I discovered I had a profound interest in Law Enforcement as a second career, so I started assisting the Minneapolis Police Department as a volunteer investigator, gathering intelligence for them, regarding child prostitution in the Twin Cities.  I did the same thing in Denver CO, resulting in the arrest of over 468 people, from 1976-79.  Then, during the 1980s and 90s, I was employed as an Adult Corrections Officer ("Prison Guard") on the islands of Oahu & Maui HI.

Three interesting things happened to me in 1976:  I was able to visit then-West Germany, Austria & Italy (my cousin was in the US Army at that time, so I went to stay with him), I saw my first-ever Indianapolis 500 in person and I became a legally-ordained clergyman-for-life in the Universal Life Church.

The last one was done on a lark; I've never been a Christian (and never will be), but back in 1976, one could become ordained, then legally declare their residence as a bona fide church, making it exempt from the payment of property taxes.  As I understand things, you can still do that, today.  Here's their website and ordination is free, although donations are always appreciated:

http://www.ulchq.com/

My idol, the late Ernie Kovacs (1919-62) had a motto for his life and that was, "Nothing in Moderation."  I believe that everyone should have some kind of saying or motto that rules their own life, so mine is, "If it's meant to be, it's up to me!" or, "Make your dreams happen!"

From 1995 onward, I would become a personal friend to Ernie's widow, Edie Adams (1927-2008), just as I am a friend of Lou Costello's youngest daughter, Chris (b. 1949).  At the time of her death in 2009, I was a personal friend of Altovise (rhymes with "geese") Davis, the widow of entertainment legend Sammy Davis, Jr.  I authored her obituary, which I posted, here:

http://tinyurl.com/mvdyhos

I had become her friend, because a mutual friend introduced us, suggesting that I could assist her with her plans to relocate to Las Vegas.  I was doing just that, when her life was claimed by a fatal stroke.

Another aspect of my life has been as an "idea man" and as a motion picture script consultant; another aspect of my freelance writing endeavors.  Currently, I'm working on no less than 5 movie ideas, and this one is of my own creation:

 The science-fiction plot is fairly simple:  Some strange disease or virus is killing everyone on Planet Earth, except those who are black or partially black.  Unchecked, the malady will result in only blacks surviving, so scientists worldwide race to find out why and (hopefully) come up with both a cure and a vaccine.  I'm very proud to brag a tiny bit, and note that one of my friends assisting me with this project, was one of the contributing writers of "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND," who is a year or two younger than I and lives in my town of Las Vegas NV.

In 1986, while living in Honolulu (and while temporarily insane, I believe) I made the mistake of entering the field of politics, running for the Hawaii State House (32nd District).  Fortunately for myself and everyone else concerned, I didn't get elected, but I had the chance to publicly state my beliefs and philosophies, while getting my "15 minutes" of fame, as documented by this article in the Los Angeles Times:

http://tinyurl.com/y8sk6yl

To mercifully conclude this essay, I believe that I have lived a most "interesting" life, all things considered.  I took up the sport of Skydiving in 1967, becoming the first student at WHS to do so.  I was invited to give a talk about it to one of my classes, which I did, complete with a demonstration of how a parachute works and is properly packed.  And, when I made my first-ever static line jump in the summer of 1967, another classmate and I borrowed Dick Deters' 8mm camera and my landing off-target in a cornfield near Muscatine was immortalized forever on celluloid (later on VHS, then DVD).

I've done pretty-much everything I ever wished to do and lived in places I once only dreamed of visiting (being child-free made all of that financially possible).  I view each day as "just another adventure" and hope that, after all is said and done, my late mother will be proud of my accomplishments.