Class of 1968

Blonde Jokes

Puzzled

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boy friend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says…

"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

From - Debbie Smith Hamilton

Bar Exam

There were three girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, that walked into a bar. They sat on stools at the bar and waited for the bartender to come and ask what they wanted. When he did, the brunette said she wanted a Tom Collins and the redhead wanted a screwdriver. When he asked the blonde, she said she wanted a 15. The bartender scratched his head and asked what a 15 was. The blonde said "Duh! A seven-seven."

From - John Hinckley

Alligator shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The
shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Oh man, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

The Blonde Hubby

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.

Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tip-toed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried blonde husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.

"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker. It wasn't easy stuffing it through those little holes."

Blonde in a Factory

Two factory workers were talking.

"I think I'll take some time off from work." said the man.

"How do you think you'll do that?" said the blonde.

He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing?

"I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off," said the boss.

So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde began walking out too.

The boss asked her where did she think she was going ??

"Home," The blonde answered, "I can't work in the dark."

Submitted by: Sandra Mullins Claussen

A little sacrilegious, but...

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told
them before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter
was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and
we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooooooo," and he
banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and
exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, "So tell
me." She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples
when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung
Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried him in a borrowed
tomb behind a very large boulder.............."

St. Peter said "Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry good! And then..........?"

"Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If He
sees His shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

There are plenty more where these came from! Want more? Send requests to Mick Orton.